NEWSLETTER OF NAUNET PUBLISHED BY S.PARTHASARATHY
The year that was
What are my impressions of 2000? It was perhaps the shortest year in my life. Though I know that all years (except leap years) have the same number of days, it seems as if 31-12-1999 was just yesterday.
Y2K bug was perhaps the biggest hoax of the last century. In sports, match-fixing was the biggest news in India. Thanks to DD , we could not see much of Olympics except for the hockey matches involving India. I felt happy at the medal of Malleswari. This along with the victory of Anand, good performance of India in the ICC Cricket Cup and the runner-up position of Mahesh-Leander in ATP were perhaps the only redeeming aspects of India's sports.
On a personal level, the year started on a bad note as I was admitted to the hospital in Jan after nearly five years to be followed by another longer visit in October. Harish started on his career in 2000. Amritha and I had a good year in Crossword as we were able to complete the ET X-word on many days. We sympathised with Aarthi who had no holidays at all. We saw 15 movies in theatres ( 5 Tamil, 3 English and 7 Hindi), of which 'Life is Beautiful' was perhaps the best. I also acquired a flat in Pune. I read a large number of books and discovered a few authors like Badacci, Erich Segal and Michael Crichton.
Naunet started with a bang in Jan and settled down to lethargy later. Aarthi and Prasad are tied for Nauratna Award for the year. I think I wrote about 10 letters. Mukund's foray into literature was a success.
Overall 2000 was a good year for me (despite the illness). I shall write in detail about the year when Prasad asks for details.
Wish you aHappy and Prosperous New Year
CROSSWORD CLUEPrasad found the last clue interesting, which was 'PC switch sure to be relevant'(7) -- The solution was 'pertain (sure is 'certain' in which you switch 'c' for 'p') The clue this time is direct 'Rough sea music' (4,3,4) Incidentally, Prasad, my Oxford Dictionary of 1990 shows 'prepone', while Chambers' of 1975 does not. So 'prepone' is now officially in English. CRICKET: As explained to a foreigner.. You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Top 10 Desi Names
10. A smart Malayalee : Debo Nair
9. A rich Malayalee : Millio Nair
8. A dynamic Malayalee : Pheno Menon
7. A Talkative Bengali : Chatter-Jee
6. A Bengali who takes bribe : Ghoosh
5. A Marathi who played James Bond : Rajan More
4. A Jat who falls at people's feet : Charan Singh
3. A Jat who falls at people's feet and stays there : Gir Charan Singh 2. A Bihari who distributes stale food at temples : Kal-ka Prasad
1. A Bihari who is above law : Law-loo Prasad
Ek Aashik: Hiro Hito Hun
A secretary: Li Kho Li Kho
A Waiter: Chai En Pao Lao
A cook: Pu Lao Pakao
A Sadhu: San T' SaTsung
A Soldier: Tien Shun
A Watchman Koi Hai
A milkman: Pa Nih Mi Lao
A Rich man: Ma La Mal
A deaf girl: Kya Kaha
A Beautiful girl: Hsein Ah
Strip teaser: Sabu T'aro
INDIA IN 2020
Place: Two Americans at IBM, USA.
Currency Conversion Rate: Rs. 1/- = US$ 100/-.
Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.
Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.
John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.
Alex : How long it took to get it stamped?
John : Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates
was standing in front of me and they played with him
like anything. Thats why it got delayed. I went there
at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4 pm.
Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to
get stamped for USA
John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has
Alex : So, when are you leaving?
John : Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a
chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.
Alex : How long are you going to stay in India.
John : What do you mean by how long. I will be settled
in India, my company has promised me that they will
process my Hara Patta.
Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult
to get a Hara Patta in India.
John : Yeah, thats why, I am planning to marry an
Indian girl there.
Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad, Bangalore and Mumbai.
John : But, I prefer Indian girls because they are
beautiful and cultured.
Alex : Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?
John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living
is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single room
Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs. 1/- = $ 100/-. Oh God! What about in Chennai, Mumbai?
John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in
Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of
Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having one
personal Robot for help.
John : You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a
personal Robot for less than Rs. 7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.200000/- but has got a sexy design.
Alex : By the way, who is your client?
John : Reddy and Naidu Associates, a pure Indian
company, specializing in Embedded Software.
Alex : Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian
company. They are really intelligent and unlike
American Bodyshoppers who have opened their
Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay
you in full even when you are on bench. My friend Paul
Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar,
the most livable place in India, probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I wonder how that state has
perfected that system.
John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope our America
also follows their footsteps.
Alex : How are you going to cope with their language?
John : Why not? From my school days I have been
learning Hindi as my first language here at New York.
At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent percent score in
TOHIL i.e.Test of Hindi as International Language.
Alex : So, you are going to have fun there.
John : Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's
fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the
famous Bollywood where you can see actors like,
Hrithik, and all. Esselworld is also near to
Alex : You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next
year, he may then relax the number of visas.
John : That's true. Last month, Narayanamurthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at Silicon Valley and has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech City of Hyderabad.Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.
Alex : But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.
John : He is a hard worker man, he can build any
number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is
getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his
money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach
Alex : OK, Good Luck John.
John : Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a Kurta Pyjama because they will think you are too
Indianised and may doubt you will ever come back and
hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But
don't forget to say "Namaste, aap kaise hai" to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.
And it was so
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.
God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."
the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 ars."
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."
And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years."
God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."
And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren
And it is so !!